Where Do I Belong?
One deep trauma and vulnerability I have, is my sense of a lack of belonging in the world. It did not matter where I have lived; my home country of Nigeria, the United States, or the communities within which I serve, there is always a nudging feeling that I do not belong, that earth is not my home. I am aware of this feeling; it comes on like a rush of anxiety and it has often been used by evil entities who do not hesitate to tell me to get out prior to their attempts at an attack. For the most part, I have accepted this vulnerability and sought to maintain my peace in the knowing that I am here in service of divine will, and I choose to forbear until my function is completed. I rest in this peace, and it is my predominant vibration. Proving my right to belong is of no relevance to me. Earth and the body are temporary abodes anyway. They are both rentals, soon my lease will be up and I gladly return. At times, when I get the rush to leave, it is usually at the heals of a demonic attack. This does not happen often, but when it does, they gather in strength and for each defeat they are met, I grow stronger.
Overcoming Spiritual Battles
The other day, as I was meditating after a day of rushes to get out, I heard some voices that sounded very far away, not far enough that I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I relaxed into the voices and listened intently. They were calling my native name and speaking Yoruba, demanding that I answered them. They began to chant curses synonymous with the traditions of spiritual battle. I relaxed and listened intently. I took a deep breath and responded to the voices by saying “God is the mind with which I think because God is on my mind. I am determined to complete my divine purpose”. I then called upon the holy spirit to send to them healing in the form of fire and it was done. The voices were quieted.
I stayed in meditation for another hour, and I laid down to rest and went to sleep. Three hours later in the depth of the night, my smoke detector went off and gave exactly three loud alarms. I woke up with an ire feeling and inner visions of evil creatures attempting to pin me down. I swiftly released myself from their grip and called upon the emissaries of the divine light to come to my aid as I repeated, “I am determined to complete the function God has given me”. The battle ended before it began.
The Power of Intuition & Inner Visions
An important spiritual practice is the use of intuition and inner visions in our lives. Our dreams, and our waking daydreams provide insight into what is to come. They show us a scene, a happening, and this is an indication that this event might happen. If we pay attention, then we can be ready for this turn in our lives. we all have many more such thoughts and daydreams than we realize. To recognize them we must take an observer position. When a thought comes, we must ask why? Why did this particular thought come now? How does it relate to my divine purpose? Taking this observer position helps us release our need to control everything. It places us in the flow of evolution.
All inner visions and daydreams must be contemplated including the negative ones. Those fear images of something bad happening, such as someone we love getting hurt, or of not achieving something we very much want are fear images should be halted as soon as they come. Then another image, one with a good outcome, should be willed through the mind. Soon, negative images will almost never happen. Your intuitions will be about positive things. When negative images come after that, they should be taken very seriously, and not followed. For instance, if the idea comes to you that you are going to have a wreck in a truck and someone comes along and offers you a ride in a truck, then do not accept it.”
From an observer position, we stop and look at the daydreams. Jesus was tempted three times in the wilderness and on several other occasions. The Buddha was tempted by Mara and many who challenged him. They stood their grounds. To them I am grateful for their responses as it helped me to fashion who I choose to be in the face of the shadows. I take my feelings of not belonging as a cue to prepare to stand my ground and insist on moving forward with my divine plan.
